Balance in Bloom - Pish to Posh

Balance in Bloom

So this marks my first official “mom” blog post.  Finding the ever fleeting “mom balance” lies ahead.

Since the launch of Pish to Posh  I have tried to keep Declan separate but I have learned time and time again that, for me, I can not do that.  Declan is my world…. Declan is my grounding rock and on some days my only friend.  Declan makes me laugh harder and love more intensely than I ever imagined.  He reminds me to slow down and look at life through the lens of a child; very matter of fact like.  There is no subjective undertone when he is talking to me and asking me questions, he has no hidden agenda- he is only three. I crave to spend time with Declan and I have the worst FOMS  (fear of missing something) as a mother. I want to be there at every step of his growth, I want to be the one to teach him everything he knows. I never want to see him fail and I so desperately want to be involved in EVERY single aspect of his life ….except when I don’t.

And that my friends is real life.

Sometimes I want to run away and never look back.  There are days where I question every life decision I have made that has led me to the point where I am having another conversation as to why we can’t flush the dog down the toilet.  Believe it or not sometimes I want to sit down and eat dinner without a continous battle over whether one or two bites is enough to earn a cookie.  There are days where I would love to read a book without having trains, trucks and dinosaurs trampling me.  And do you know what I would give to drink a cup of coffee or wine uninterrupted????  I am not the parent who is obsessed with their child.  I am obsessed with being a mother and I am obsessed with providing the very best for my child but I am the first to admit that I crave balance between being a mother and being a woman.  There is nothing I want more in life than to love and spoil my son… the appropriate amount.  I am not that mom.  Does that make me a bad mom???  Sometimes it may seem that way and some may say it does but for me finding the balance is the only way I can continue to strive to be the best mother for Declan.

Photos: Jenna Sparks Photography 

I am by no means an expert on parenting but I can say with a lot of confidence that I am an expert on parenting Declan.  There is no one who knows him like I do, there is no one who gives up as much as I do and there is no one who loves him like I do. And because of that I know that the balance we have of time together and time apart is what keeps our relationship strong.  It is because I know him so well that I understand he needs socialization and play, it is because I give up so much that I allow myself  to take time to nurture my soul and it is because I love him so much that I seek time without him.  Love makes the heart grow fonder and I find the more I miss Declan the more I crave to be with him.

 

Some of you know but many do not that Declan had serious medical issues at birth ( a whole other blog post to come) but an immediate and overwhelming need to protect and care for my son was thrown upon me as he was rushed to the NICU, after an unplanned immediate c-section, where he lived for 4 long weeks.  My path as a mother lead me to quit my job and stay home with Declan.  The first 18 months were challenging to say the least (my goal is not to attract sympathy but to provide background). However out of those months we formed a bond that I am confident we would not have if it not been for his medical issues.  HOWEVER, now that he is a 100% healthy, thriving, inquisitive, mischievous and flourishing toddler it is time for us to figure out what the next chapter holds.  Our bond as mother and son is unbreakable so I am not afraid to create some space… for both of us to learn… for both of us to grow… to find some balance and for both of us to bloom.

I hope that with these new “mom blog” posts you will continue to see the message behind my writing and that you come to expect the same honest and truthful nature I try to capture each week.  Writing about motherhood is harder than I had anticipated but I want to be authentic in this space.  It is less about the fashion (although Declan is a total ham in front of the camera) and more about my desire to connect with each of you on some level.  I know that not all of you are mothers but I hope, even you, will come back each week for a little insight into my everyday world as a women, blogger and MOTHER.

With Love,

SHOP MY LOOK: DENIM // TANK <SIMILAR>  // SANDALS // BRALETTE 
SHOP DECLAN’S LOOK: SHORTS // TEE // SHOES 

 

38 thoughts on “Balance in Bloom

  • Reply Valerie April 27, 2017 at 8:47 am

    I could have written the basics of this, Amanda! If I had a way with words like you do!! But I feel those same feelings with my children. I love being a mom AND I love being a woman and wife and friend….often times I need those to be separated. Thanks for sharing.
    And you are beautiful! I always love seeing the pictures with your blogs. ??

    • Reply pishtoposh May 1, 2017 at 9:19 am

      Thanks for such a thoughtful and meaningful response! I love wearing all those hats as well!!
      A

  • Reply Nicole April 27, 2017 at 10:03 am

    This is so sweet and I can definitely identify with what you are saying about “mom time” and oh dinner time is both mine and my hubbies least favorite with our two! All the negotiating they try to do! Pretty pics too ♥️
    xo, Nicole

    • Reply pishtoposh May 1, 2017 at 9:19 am

      Nicole- why do kids insist on making meal time such a struggle!!! I mean seriously!
      A

  • Reply Belle April 27, 2017 at 11:01 am

    I so totally can relate. There are days when I question everything; and I’d feel I want to run away from it all. But then when I see their smile or hear them laugh, all my worries and struggles magically disappear. It really is hard, very hard, to find balance. To be honest, I don’t think I ever will.

    Belle | One Awesome Momma

    • Reply pishtoposh May 1, 2017 at 9:20 am

      So glad you can relate- it makes me feel less alone!! Thanks for stopping by Belle.
      A

  • Reply Ashley Markwood April 27, 2017 at 11:12 am

    I love your photos! What kind of camera do you use?!

    • Reply pishtoposh May 1, 2017 at 9:22 am

      Thanks Ashley- the photos are by Jenna Sparks Photography– she really captures our life so well. I believe she uses a Nikn d750!
      A

  • Reply Angela Kim April 27, 2017 at 11:54 am

    Love the authenticity and honesty in this post. You’re right in that we may not know it all but we know how to be the best mother to our kids because we understand them at a deeper level. And I have a 8 months old named Declan too! 🙂

    • Reply pishtoposh May 1, 2017 at 9:24 am

      Angela- thanks for the support! I want to believe I am not the only one who feels this way about her child…
      A

  • Reply Marla | Because I Said So Baby April 27, 2017 at 12:07 pm

    I really love these pictures! Reminds me that I need to take more dressed-up photos of myself and my little one. Also, I agree with everything you said!

    • Reply pishtoposh May 1, 2017 at 9:25 am

      Marla- thanks lady!! I love our photographer and how she able to capture the most precious moments!! Something I can have forever.
      A

  • Reply Dara April 27, 2017 at 1:35 pm

    My favorite blogs are those that write about a variety of subjects, including being a mom! I’m glad that Declan is doing great after his original health issues.

    • Reply pishtoposh May 1, 2017 at 9:26 am

      Thanks Dara- I will try and remain authentic and original in my content!
      A

  • Reply Kiley D. Smith April 27, 2017 at 5:41 pm

    I love how honest and real you are in this post. Motherhood is tough work. I try to make time for myself because I find that just having that “me” time makes me such a better Mom. I hope you are able to take some time for yourself soon. You are a beautiful Mother and I can see how much you adore your son in your lovely photos.

    • Reply pishtoposh May 1, 2017 at 9:27 am

      Thanks Kiley– any good tips on keeping that balance???
      A

  • Reply Victoria April 27, 2017 at 8:06 pm

    I can relate to everything! And being a NICU mom seems to always make the doubt worse it seems.

    • Reply pishtoposh May 1, 2017 at 9:28 am

      Victoria- being a NICU mom both adds a lot of doubt and helped to create an unbreakable bond- it really was a blessing and a curse.
      A

  • Reply Kristi April 27, 2017 at 9:53 pm

    I completely relate and I used to feel very guilty about needing some ‘me’ time …but you know what I always feel better after a little ‘me’ time and that makes me a better mom. It’s ok to need a night out with a friend – e all need to recharge!

    • Reply pishtoposh May 1, 2017 at 9:30 am

      Kristi- I have a little girls night planned for next week and I think it will be just perfect!
      A

  • Reply kat April 28, 2017 at 8:47 am

    I love the pictures! Happy early mothers day and I’m so happy he’s now healthy!
    Xx,
    Kat | http://DeliriumStyle.com

    • Reply pishtoposh May 1, 2017 at 9:30 am

      Thank Kat!
      A

  • Reply Maria April 28, 2017 at 11:24 am

    As a mom of 3 I can completely relate. I think in the end a happy mom is a great mom. We need to take care of ourselves to take care of our families. So I am all for the balance!

    • Reply pishtoposh May 1, 2017 at 9:31 am

      I totally agree and each day I am working at doing just that! Thanks Maria.
      A

  • Reply Laura Mitbrodt April 28, 2017 at 12:17 pm

    These photos are adorable, I love your hair!
    xo
    http://www.laurajaneatelier.com

    • Reply pishtoposh May 1, 2017 at 9:31 am

      Thank you Laura!
      A

  • Reply Natalie Goodwin April 28, 2017 at 12:32 pm

    Aww. I love this! You’re so cute and that lil boy, well he is no doubt a heartbreaker! I enjoy your posts so much and not being a mom myself will not make me leave! PS, love this tank! 🙂

    xoxo, Natalie
    http://www.rachelgreenandprettythings.com

    • Reply pishtoposh May 1, 2017 at 9:32 am

      Natalie- So glad you will stick around!! I promise it won’t be all kid stuff!!
      A

  • Reply Caitlin @RogersPartyof5 April 28, 2017 at 12:56 pm

    These pictures of you and your little boy are STUNNINGLY beautiful!! My little boy is 3, and there is something SO special about a mommy/son relationship. I also have 1-year-old twin girls, and while I love all of my children equally, there is something different about my relationship with my son. These photos capture that special relationship so perfectly 🙂

    • Reply pishtoposh May 1, 2017 at 9:33 am

      Caitlin- There is something very special about a mother-son. I always thought I wanted a girl but I think someone knew better and knew a son was exactly what I needed!
      A

  • Reply Andi April 28, 2017 at 1:59 pm

    Bring on the mama posts! Your relationship with your son is such a vital part of who you are and I’m excited to read more about it. And PS, I’ve got a Declan too! Great name ?

    • Reply pishtoposh May 1, 2017 at 9:33 am

      Thanks Andi!! I have a few more planned!
      A

  • Reply Jennifer Laxmi April 28, 2017 at 2:19 pm

    He is such a sweetheart! And I love that top and your hair <3

    xo Jen || http://laxmilifestyle.com

    • Reply pishtoposh May 1, 2017 at 9:34 am

      WOW Jennifer- thank you so much!
      A

  • Reply Danielle @ A Sprinkle of Joy April 29, 2017 at 12:06 pm

    Such a wonderful post! Being a mom is a tough job, as there are always so many emotions running around our heads (at least thats how it is for me). It’s great to be able to include Declan in your blogging journey!

    • Reply pishtoposh May 1, 2017 at 9:35 am

      Danielle- my brain is constantly going…. no downtime there!! I need work on silencing some of it.
      A

  • Reply Samantha Lee May 1, 2017 at 12:36 pm

    Being a mother is a huge part of you – of course you should share! You guys are beautiful together and sounds like you are a wonderful mother to your sweet boy. <3

    http://www.wonderlandsam.com

    • Reply pishtoposh May 1, 2017 at 2:17 pm

      Thank you for the support Sam. I certainly try to be a good mother to him!!!
      A

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