The most trendy buzz word in my “mama” circle is?????
Recentlyish I was asked what I do for self-care. How I ensure my needs are met. And well…. I didn’t have an answer. I stood there speechless.
Fast forward several weeks. Declan is in school and Brendan is traveling so I have a lot of time to think about myself. I have a lot of time to focus on myself. And it feels super unnatural and awkward. There is such a taboo about making yourself the focus of your own life, especially as a mother. BUT why??? Everyone knows that if mama isn’t happy no one is happy but no one is comfortable with making mama the focus. After I was asked how I take care of myself I spent a great deal of time thinking about what makes ME happy, what make ME feel complete and how do I make ME the center of my own attention. A lot of women exercise, a lot of women spend a day at the spa, a lot of women do happy hours and believe me I try to do all of those but I need something different.
I need ME time. I need alone time. It took me years to realize that I need alone time. For reflection, for thought, for planning, for decompressing, for comfort, for SELF-CARE. I used to be scared to be alone with my thoughts and I was always seeking distractions. I was constantly seeking “noise” in my life to avoid the “noise” in my own head. Being comfortable and alone with my thoughts was scary… Its like I was scared to think for myself. If I listened to my mind I would have to change my life, if I listened to my brain I would have to change my heart and that scared me. It scared me enough that I avoided it and created other things to think about. I, essentially, created drama in my life to avoid dealing with my own life. Talk about the opposite of self-care. In fact, it made it impossible to engage in worthwhile, effective self-care because it was easier.
Being alone and giving myself the time to address my thoughts is HARD. It is harder than ignoring it. Addressing and unpacking those thoughts is uncomfortable and sometimes it is yucky. It’s a big mess up in my brain, it’s an emotional dumping ground, it’s a hodge podge of missed opportunities, regrets, celebrations and fears. Over the last several years I have worked really hard at becoming comfortable with my thoughts, with learning to silence the outside “noise” to focus on the inside, with being alone. It is challenging and sometimes downright impossible but in an effort to focus on self-care it is time I go back to listening to myself. For some reason, I have slipped back into avoiding myself and of creating outside “noise” loud enough to drown out the inside “noise”
While we lived in London and the year prior to that I had done a great job of focusing on my own thoughts, of learning to love being alone with my mind and to embrace the chaos of my own life. Some might say I had no other choice given I was across the world but it was as much that as it was the internal feeling of knowing something needed to change. I was ready to feel differently. And I am again, ready to feel differently.
Photos: Jenna Sparks Photography
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get the look: Joggers <similar> // Graphic Tank (old) <similar> // wedges // tote // watch // sunnies
Who doesn’t love this jogger trend??!?!? It is like wearing fancy sweatpants out of the house and I am obsessed. I think these are my third or fourth pair! I love to dress them up (like in this look) with a fun tee, wedges or heels and some fancy fun jewelry. But I am not afraid to throw them on with a tee, flip flops and cardigan (perfect for school drop off). This graphic tank is old but this trend is still hot!! You can find ones with just anything on them… I have linked a few of my other favorites <here> <here> and <here> . Again such a versatile piece to have in your closet- throw it on with joggers or distressed denim for a super cute trendy look.
I, personally, tend to gravitate towards simple accessories. I almost exclusively wear stud earrings (especially in my everyday life) and stick to the same four-six bracelets. My style is pretty classic and easy. Below I have linked my favorite stud earrings and bracelets- most of which you can find me any day of the week.
Self-care comes in many forms and is different for each person. Self-care is not just about getting away from you children, or your job or your spouse… it is about embracing yourself. It is about making yourself and your happiness a priority. Whatever form your self-care takes on I challenge you to remain authentic, real and transparent with your journey. Embracing my feelings, my wandering mind and noisy thoughts is how I practice self-care. Being alone and making the time to decompress, relax and reflect is how I practice self-care. Recognizing and accepting myself as important is how I practice self-care.
How do you do it???
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