Second chances are not given to make things right. But are given to prove we can better after we fall
At this point in my life I am really trying to embrace the idea of second chances. Not only for others but for MYSELF. I am a pretty harsh critic of myself and when I mess up I am pretty unforgiving. Allowing someone to change and giving them the opportunity to do so has been a great challenge for me despite my desire to forgive and move on. The idea that second chances won’t take away the pain or make it better but to show that people (including myself) can make changes is a new one for me. I always looked at second chances as an opportunity to right a wrong- or make amends for hurting someone- or demonstrate remorse… but the idea that I should use second chances to encourage and support growth is one I want to embrace more.
Over the last several months I have been very candid about my journey, both good and bag, in returning to Denver. What I may not have been as candid about was the impact that has had on some of my friendships, relationships and marriage. Over the last several years I have had so many experiences that have impacted me – Declans birth and first year, moving to London, starting the blog, moving back to Denver, my husband traveling all the time- that I am so much different than I was just 4 years ago. Over that time I have let go of friendships that did not align with where I was in my life, that I felt were not supportive, or that I did not feel an organic relationship from… at the time I felt very good about those choices. I was comfortable moving on with my life. I was comfortable and happy exploring new friendships and relationships. And while I am still very happy with those choices I am opening my heart to second chances. Recently, I had drinks with a girlfriend and I was blown away by the change and acceptance I felt from her, I left feeling rejuvenated, I left happy with the decision to open my heart for a second chance. A second chance for a friendship, a second chance for happiness and second chance for an authentic relationships.
I am a harsh critic of MYSELF. I hold myself to standards that too often are unattainable so I am consistently letting myself down… and believe it or not this doesn’t seem to be working for me any longer. Ha. We all fail and we all fall down. I am just not good at giving myself the second chance to do it again- I am not good and remembering there is growth in trying again. Instead of granting myself forgiveness I hold a grudge against myself. Going forth I strive to allow myself to the second chance I deserve… growth is as important as the outcome. Intentions speak louder than failures.
Photos: Jenna Sparks Photography
So, I am not one to get dressed up very often but I do love dresses. I found this beauty at Rack and have been loving it. This particular dress sold out pretty quickly but I have found several that are similar. I love an easy casual black dress in the summer as they are perfect for lunch dates, date nights and everything in between. I typically choose ones that are easy to wear (meaning comfortable and wearable about my toddler) and that have one or two elements of fun! This one has a racer back and the gathered detail at the waist add a little definition to a classic simple LBD. These sandals popped up on my Instagram and I am still loving them. They are fun, comfortable and under $25. I mean what else do you need in a summer sandal??? I have linked several other lace up sandals, below.
This Kate Spade was my summer bag purchase. I debated for a while between several but in the end the scalloped detailing and the bright pink accents really sold this one for me. I love the summer feels and how big it is!! I seem to be carrying a lot more in my bag these days, hmmmmm…. toddlers!
With my new hope to allow myself and others second chance I can’t help but wonder what doors I may have closed by not offering a second chance. Each day I am given another chance to offer myself an opportunity to pick up where I fell, to accept my failures and to try again. In order for a second chance to work I have to allow the other person (or myself) the chance to change. If I always perceive them in a certain way I will never see anything different. It is up to me to open my hear, my mind and my life. Second chances are hard… the fear of being hurt again, the fear of failure again or the fear of the unknown… but the possibility of authentic and organic relationships, personal growth and change are worth the chance.