Shoulda Coulda Woulda in White Denim

SHOULDA COULDA WOULDA- IT’S SO EASY IN THE PAST TENSE

I am currently living in a perpetual state of shoulda coulda woulda (lets call it SCW for short).  I think it is perfectly normal and perfectly natural to question and hypothesize about the SCW’s of life but at what point does it become unhealthy? According to Urban Dictionary (which is clearly a relevant source here) the definition of shoulda, coulda, woulda is as follows:

Meaning that it is of no use to dwell on what should have (shoulda), could have (coulda) or would have (woulda) happened/been done.
Said as an attempt to shorten a discussion that focuses on the past, thus providing no solution to an actual problem.

This definition could not be more true in that thinking about the SCW offers no actual solution to a problem.., but then why am I living in a world where I am ALWAYS thinking about this.  What if I hadn’t moved to London? What if Brendan and I hadn’t gone on that trip? What if Declan’s health had been “normal”? Should I have really started a blog? Could we really move back to Colorado and expect to slide back into life?

You know what friends…. I am finding the answers to all those questions unattainable and unmanageable.  The reality is that we did move to London, we did go on that trip, Declans health was impacted, I did start a blog and we did move back to Denver.  I want to believe that our lives are not dictated by our past but I am coming to the realization (in ways I never anticipated) that my future, is so very much impacted by what happened in my past.  Climbing out of this cycle, I am finding, is extremely challenging.  Trying to only think about the future and making decisions based on what I want for the future seems GREAT in theory… but what I am running up against is how to not allow my previous decisions to impact how I make future decisions.  I feel there is value in remembering previous decisions as it allows me to make more educated and informed choices the next time- or so I think…. BUT what happens when it doesn’t?  When it becomes a burden to your decision making process or in my case a downright road block; it is impossible to not live in the SCW world.  So here I am… wondering and thinking about all the choices I have made in the last several years and how impactful they have been on my ability to make future choices.  This time I do not actually have an answer…

shop the look: Denim // tank // shoes // bag <Similar> // sunglasses 

You know one choice I have made that I do not think much about is the decision to wear white denim all year long!!! And especially in the spring (before it get so hot in the summer you can not wear pants).  I love white denim as a way to lighten up any look and add a fresh vibrant flare.  I wear these babies all the time.  I love to pair black and white together as a classic sleek look and these white denim and this scalloped hem tank are the perfect pair for a sunny spring day.  I have been crushing on Nordstrom Rack and this tank was one an obvious choice!  I love the how this tank has eyelet detail on the top and the scalloped hem on the bottom.  I paired the whole look with a bright bag to add a little color to a very neutral outfit.  Black and white, in any fashion, is one of my favorite combos.  White denim is here to stay and adding a dainty little black tank is the prefect way to keep your denim classic and sleek.

past to present

It is hard not to dwell on the choices I made in the past especially those that did not have favorable outcomes (both long and short term) and so I am committed to remembering that in the moment I made them it was with positive intent and all relevant information available at the time. I can honestly say I do not regret many choices made in the past but in the recent months I have had an abundance of times of doubt, rethinking and wondering.  Have I made perfect decision; certainly not.  Have I learned from those; certainly I have.  But as I continue on I am reminded to not let old choices taint, sway or determine what I want for the future.  Our past has a way of reminding us of how important it is to be intentional and thoughtful going forth… and I choose to strive to remember that each day.

With Love,


41 thoughts on “Shoulda Coulda Woulda in White Denim

  • Reply Cait May 6, 2017 at 6:21 am

    Are those shoes comfy? Doable for work/walking around all day at school?

    • Reply pishtoposh May 10, 2017 at 3:22 pm

      They are for sure!!
      A

  • Reply Gretchen May 6, 2017 at 10:09 am

    Hey Amanda,
    I totally understand the SCW thoughts. I try to remind myself that I made the best decison possible, at that point! I love wearing white denim year around also. Have a wonderful weekend xoxo

  • Reply Linda May 6, 2017 at 11:51 am

    I, too, am constantly in the SCW thoughts and am always thinking about how different my life would be if I made a different decision or if I didn’t make that decision. It’s so hard to get out of these thoughts, but it’s important to know that everything happens for a reason.

    But PS. Love your jeans! It’s so hard for me to find the perfect one!

    Linda
    Blog || Instagram

    • Reply pishtoposh May 10, 2017 at 3:22 pm

      I do believe everything happens for a reason and that every choice leads to another… thanks for the reminder.
      A

  • Reply Emily Soto May 6, 2017 at 12:39 pm

    I love this look! Black and white were meant for each other.

  • Reply Stefani May 6, 2017 at 1:39 pm

    I love the shirt!!
    And it is always best to look towards the future instead of dwell on the past!

    • Reply pishtoposh May 10, 2017 at 3:22 pm

      Stefani- certainly working on looking to the future.
      A

  • Reply Beatriz May 6, 2017 at 4:37 pm

    Love this b&w look! So classy and chic! I also agree it’s important to stay present!
    xx Beatriz | http://www.livelovewearit.com

  • Reply Sarah Liu May 6, 2017 at 9:07 pm

    This is great advice. Need to keep it in mind sometimes. Also…cute outfit love!! <3

    http://www.sincerelysarahliu.com

    • Reply pishtoposh May 10, 2017 at 3:21 pm

      Thanks Sarah!
      A

  • Reply Carrie May 6, 2017 at 10:01 pm

    Love this idea. There are so many SWC moments. Today i got a call from my best friend(whos also a distant relative) that her grandpa most likely wasnt going to make it thru tonight. A million SWC thoughts ran thru my head. Why didnt I go see him sooner etc and when she called back not even two hours later those thoughts turned to Why didnt I. Hes no longer here and I feel horrible for not seeing him one more time. Those moments that a SWC definitly hit hardest. Going to make it more of a priority to do more things even if that means rearranging a day during week to just go visit family.

    • Reply pishtoposh May 10, 2017 at 3:21 pm

      I am so glad my post resonated with you and you can relate to it!!! Have a great week!
      A

  • Reply Leah May 6, 2017 at 11:48 pm

    Love the scalloped hem detail on this top, so cute!!

    x – Leah
    http://www.ellemaebloom.com

    • Reply pishtoposh May 10, 2017 at 3:11 pm

      Thanks Leah!

  • Reply christine May 7, 2017 at 12:04 am

    You look so chic! Love the black and white combo and the blue bag was the perfect add on!

    • Reply pishtoposh May 10, 2017 at 3:11 pm

      Cheers- Thanks lady
      A

  • Reply Shruthi May 7, 2017 at 11:13 am

    I enjoyed reading your post about how your past does impact your future…I can relate as I live in London now as well and we are looking to move back to the States this year. So many (SCW) but like you said, it shouldn’t sway us from chasing after what we want. Also, I love your white jeans haha 🙂 I hope that as time passes you feel more confident in the choices you’ve made or at peace with them <3

    Cheers,
    Shruthi
    http://www.thehonestshruth.com

    • Reply pishtoposh May 10, 2017 at 3:10 pm

      Thanks love!! Enjoy living in London- so jealous.
      A

  • Reply Jessica Peresta May 7, 2017 at 1:14 pm

    So cute! You are rockin those white jeans! I need to start wearing mine more.

    • Reply pishtoposh May 10, 2017 at 3:12 pm

      Jessica you should absolutely wear them more!
      A

  • Reply Kiley D. Smith May 7, 2017 at 2:48 pm

    You look gorgeous! I love your outfit! I agree–you need to live in the moment and not focus on the past!

    • Reply pishtoposh May 10, 2017 at 3:12 pm

      Kiley- really trying to embrace that and think for the future!
      A

  • Reply Kamille May 7, 2017 at 3:46 pm

    Just had a SCW reflection last night with my hubs and I had many SCW in the past. The thing is… that’s all it is. I can’t go back and make YouTube videos from my past, but I can make them now. Just how I launched my blog this year. YouTube is something I am working on launching the end of this year or early next year. Great post hon.

    • Reply pishtoposh May 10, 2017 at 3:13 pm

      Good luck with your new YouTube- what is your username on there- would love to check it out!
      A

  • Reply Krysten May 7, 2017 at 9:29 pm

    I live SCW all the time too. It’s really hard not too in this day and age. You see other people doing so much better and you ask yourself if you’re doing the right thing. It’s really hard.
    I love those jeans, I have never really worn white denim, I should try.

    • Reply pishtoposh May 10, 2017 at 3:15 pm

      I couldnt agree more about the SCW of life!!! You should embrace come white denim- you will love them.
      A

  • Reply Caitlin | Beauty & Colour May 7, 2017 at 9:38 pm

    The details on this top are so pretty!

    Caitlin, Beauty & Colour

    • Reply pishtoposh May 10, 2017 at 3:15 pm

      Thanks!
      A

  • Reply Shannon | Mom Without Labels May 8, 2017 at 12:16 pm

    Ugh it’s SO hard to not so the SCW game sometimes but it’s so important to look ahead instead of back! And, white jeans all year long is always a great choice! You look fab!

    • Reply pishtoposh May 10, 2017 at 3:15 pm

      Shannon- I a certainly working on thinking more for the future.
      A

  • Reply Nicole May 8, 2017 at 8:51 pm

    I agree with all the things said here and I think it’s best to give yourself grace (way easier said than done though I know!) Love this look on you too!

    • Reply pishtoposh May 10, 2017 at 3:16 pm

      I need to work on forgiving myself- thanks for the reminder!
      A

  • Reply Angela Kim May 9, 2017 at 3:07 pm

    Love this outfit! And I agree about your sentiments. I needed to hear this today too bc I’m currently dealing with a tough transition in motherhood. Thanks for the reminder!

    • Reply pishtoposh May 10, 2017 at 3:17 pm

      Oh sweet Angela- I hope everything works out for you! Thanks for stopping by.
      A

  • Reply Mitch Heumann May 12, 2017 at 6:14 am

    Great article thank you for sharing.

  • Reply Jona Greenhalgh May 12, 2017 at 12:36 pm

    Wonderful post thank you for sharing.

  • Reply Kaitlyn May 13, 2017 at 7:09 pm

    Love the scalloped shirt !

    • Reply pishtoposh May 14, 2017 at 8:58 am

      Thanks dear-
      A

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